Do you avoid looking at yourself in the mirror? Do you purposefully look away when catching your reflection in a shopfront?
I want to commend you for reading this blog because that fact that you are here means that you are open to discovering a different part of yourself. You are ready to uncover the true you rather than the CONDITIONED you.
Who you are is like an onion. In the middle of the onion is who you truly are, the truth of who you are. Imagine for a moment how a young child behaves and thinks. They run around and absolutely love life. They aren’t worried about what they are wearing or what people think of them. They are just living in the moment, loving life.
As the child goes about their everyday life their parents start saying things like, “Don’t do that!” or “Be careful!” In addition to this the child starts observing what everyone around them is doing. What happens in that moment is that they feel a feeling deep down that makes them feel that they have done something wrong, that WHO THEY ARE IS WRONG!Remember that a young child can’t process that mom is just stressed, that dad has just had a bad day at work which is why he needs time to relax or that the rest of society is just trying to fit in so that they too don’t feel out of place. A child starts to compare themselves to the outside world and all they see is that they are different and that others are telling them that what they are doing is wrong. An example is this: dad walks in through the door and you rush up to him, delighted because of the beautiful picture you have drawn, eager to show him or you ask your father to read you a story. All that the dad can think is that he just wants to relax after a long day spent in meetings and that he would prefer to look later. In that moment the child thinks that they have done something wrong. In addition, they ALSO think that I AM WRONG! They think that if they behaved in a different way; if they were someone else then their father may have given them more attention. This all happens unconsciously.
The little child thinks, I don’t ever want to feel that way again. We all know that feeling. The feeling where deep inside our stomachs or hearts you feel a sadness and pain. No one wants to feel that way. So you register a feeling in the body, you then create a thought ‘I don’t ever want to feel that way again’ so you develop a defence mechanism which becomes your first onion layer. These defence mechanisms manifest as personality traits. Maybe you thought; if I was more creative, more supportive, and more independent than dad would have looked at my picture. If I was prettier, skinnier, bigger, stronger.
We are constantly looking at who we are, judging ourselves based on what we see outside of ourselves. This is something that happens without us even knowing it and we start to build layers. Now remember the child who was 2 years old, they create the initial thought but from that moment on they think the same thought over and over again. Your thought registers as electric impulses within the brain along the neurons and a neural pathway starts to develop. From then on, the more you think this thought, the thicker the trace becomes within the neural pathways. Eventually this develops into a an automatic, body reaction where you body ends up reacting before you are even aware or even know what is going on. Who you are today is a biological reactions to belief systems that you developed from earlier on.
How can you heal/change these belief systems?
How can be ‘uncondition’ our existing thoughts? How can we do and be from our soul, from the truth of who we are an not that which society and our parents have taught us? I believe that this is how:
- Awareness: What is the thought and where did it come from?
- Acceptance: Remember that your reactions are biological memories and are all part of the human experience. Why are you feeling bad about some thing that you don’t have control over? This is the HUMAN YOU!
- Release: Now that you are in awareness of the thoughts that aren’t in alignment with your truth you can CHOOSE to release a thought (when you are consciously aware) and think a new thought.
- Reprogramming: This the most important stage. I am currently 36. Let’s imagine that I developed a belief system when I was 2. (There are many people who believe that you develop belief systems up until the age of 7). That means for 34 years I have been thinking the same thought over and over and over again, which means that the trace within my neural pathways is very thick. Meaning, I’m not going to change overnight. Which is why self love and acceptance of the human journal is paramount.
The heart of who I am, within my own life, is to live and be the NEW ME in the present moment of each day so that I can start to create the new reprogrammed me rather than reliving the old conditioned me. I am also aware that it takes time and it takes courage. Why don’t you walk with me on this journey as we awaken to and live our truth?